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I’ve thrown my arms around an acquaintance, overjoyed to see each other, to be in contact.Ĭertainly, there are people who know more about us than others, people we would turn to first, people we see as “best friends.” But affections, warmth, respect, laughter - these things are difficult to rank on a list. It has been the case that seeing a friend, a familiar face whom I haven’t seen in months and haven’t even kept up with, has felt like the very pinnacle of happiness. You can have a good group of friends and still think, still worry, “I’m no one’s number one.”īut let’s step out of that feeling for a second and think about how friendship works, Second Bestie what it feels like and what it gives us. It’s a desire magnified by a corporate world that sees us as entirely replaceable. It was more like I was a perennial afterthought, a person who it’d be nice to be around, nice to have over, nice to see, but never necessary, never the first person to call, never the one we need to be present.Īnd I think, Second Bestie, that most of us would like to be needed. I didn’t experience utter unwanted-ness or anything.
![friends papi papi friends papi papi](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0d/32/ca/0d32cad51434385ad5cb08d029e65f1a.jpg)
I’d long suspected there was something about me that wasn’t quite there enough. I’ve been to a couple events now, and I swear that I can feel the “un-special” practically oozing out of me, the certainty that, in general, I am a quickly forgotten face who will disappear from people’s minds the moment I leave the scene.īut I can’t pin this all on the pandemic. Immediately upon walking up to them, the desire melted away like a flimsy, wavy mirage. I met some quarantine sexting buddies in person.
![friends papi papi friends papi papi](https://www.minipapi.com.tr/resimler/c65cdeda63cf48746c041d2e8b582f7f.jpg)
I realized many of the people around me had immediately grouped up to ride out the dark times together, and some of them were people I’d imagined a certain closeness to, people I could have sworn would have wanted me in their circle. When I first began socializing again a couple weeks ago, I had several troubling epiphanies. But that doesn’t make these ones any easier to deal with. Were there worse, more mortal fears that replaced them? Probably. Job thief.īut yes, as we creep out of our hovels after a long stretch of isolation, it seems we (or at least many of us) are being reintroduced to pesky social anxieties we haven’t had to deal with in a while. Well, we will certainly never be besties now. Who allowed you to touch on one of my insecurities like this? That’s actually my job. Is wanting to have a best friend immature? Should I just stay content with the friends I do have, even if those friendships aren’t as close as I want them to be? Why is this so hard? There’s so much advice out there about romantic relationships, but all I want is a stable, healthy, platonic one. But I’m starting to worry there’s something wrong with me, that I’m not capable of having a best friend. I’ve gone to my therapist and my friends, and they’ve assured me that I’m a healthy person to be around, I communicate my needs clearly, I’m a good listener, and have all of the skills necessary to facilitate my own, healthy friendships. Every time I feel I’ve found a person that may finally be that best friend I’ve been looking for, it’s blown up in my face and I’m left at square one. Now, I know “best friends” feels so elementary school, but it’s a problem I’ve had for most of my life. I have a close-knit group of people who have been my friends for years, and I love and treasure each one of them, but they all seem to have someone that is their “best friend.” It’s never me. Friendship looks much different now than it did a year ago. Obviously, the pandemic has done a number on everyone’s ability to see one another.